Roy’s Sunday Letter for January 18, 2026
Strengthening In Troubled Times & Troubled Persons
One of the strengths of couples and partners is when one of the two is down (heart or stroke, hip surgery, Alzheimer’s etc.) the other partner is now driving, package carrying, preparing food and trying to be on track. However, what happens when the step-in and be strong partner cannot do or continue to do and succumbs to…car accident, illness, significant fall? Friends who are single, and living alone, have the same worry, concern, or anxiety. Family members are not always nearby, or caretaking within their own family may limit their helpfulness…
Perhaps couples or singles can widen their village or circle of trusted others by joining together in emotional, spiritual, and physical support. Whatever the type and limits of caring of a would-be discussion and decisions of broadened each circle might be helpful. Is this a worry or concern within your marriage, partnership, or single living? Your Comments will add to the understanding of all SL readers
- The Tarrant Commissioner’s Court, and a few pastor types, are very proud of placing a large plaque of the biblical Ten Commandments on the courthouse steps. No wording or intent to match the purpose and meaning of Day 86 of the Monk’s Walk for Peace., of daily compassion and kindness for the unseen, unknown living among us.
I am editing a new story describing an 1950s Walker family reunion held on my grandparents East Texas farm. At age ten I was excited by the new aunts, uncles, and kids joining me in taking rides around the farm on Bill the horse. Walker families came from Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Texas for a weekend of potato salad, green beans, pork cooked over coals, and gallons of iced tea. Today, younger Walkers might expect the reunion to be on zoom. The growth of stackable housing and market centers limit the story telling of the day the cows got out and the teaching of younger women how not to drop a stich. Have you attended a family or college reunion? Use Comments to let others know of your experience.
Roy, balancing the new of what is with goodness of what was
My partner’s mother was a Walker from Virginia. They did not have reunions that I know of–my own family had only two in my lifetime, but both special memories. Thanks for bringing those to mind! Wonder what it would take to get us all together again.
My grandparents were driven out of OK by the lack of rain and dust storms.
The Green Valley Farms was my safe place, with safe people, all of my youth.
Family Reunion today? Hope so, with zoom or not.
All about connections, sharing, listening, being present.
Welcomed Comment today and thank you. RB
Being a single older person, certainly not by choice, is such a difficult time. Friends say we will help you do anything you need and that is such a comfort, but they are dealing with life and challenges as well. So in truth the burden of living each day and making decisions falls to you. I am grateful for financial stability but I grieve for those people who do not have it. Life goes on and hard decisions have to be made, hopefully we have the support too make them.
Friend forever Maurine….
Yes, the full weight of decisions are yours, along with SFe family.
There is a phrase in my current fiction read I like: (speaking of her grandmother) She had very kind ears.”
Beth and I hope our ears are open and kind as we 3 talk and listen together.
& thank you for your honest and open sharing. RB
Hi Maurine and Roy and Hi Beth!
I am still living here in Santa Fe, doing care giving 6 – 9 hours per week sometimes a few extra. Maurine, if you feel comfortable asking for help and would like to go through Roy for my contact info, please do so. I’m sure I could fit in assisting you in various ways in addition to the volunteer work I am doing with Rise Up Santa Fe. BeWell!
Cameron McRostie
Cameron….always good to know you still out there, doing good for others and self.
We are close with Maurine and family….and her next steps.
She is indeed a hero to all of us.
keep us on your journey list. we travel the path together……RB
Roy- We have experienced change in our lifetimes. Many of our grandparents & Gr. Grandparents came to the USA for a better life, and opportunities they didn’t have in their country of origin. Many ended up on homesteaded land where they worked hard and sometime made it and sometimes didn’t. They had large families; it was not unusual to have 10 to 15 pregnancies and far fewer alive past the age of one. Many times they would dedicate a son to the priesthood or ministry, often a couple of daughters who would become nuns or schoolteachers (Yes, early days, teachers could not be married), and that left the rest, generally one of the daughters to take care of the elders and one of the sons to take over the farm.. Mechanization and modernization dispersed the families and many of the families became “distant” relatives with no allegiance to others. Hence, we end up with senior living, nursing homes and memory care units. Talking with a friend yesterday who identified the care in her building is given by the Mong and Somali’s, who were taught from little that the Elderly were special. Of course, the cost of many of these facilities is prohibitive for most, with large corporations owning the buildings and hiring staff. I just learned that the facilities in Minnesota identified as “Presbyterian Homes” have nothing to do with the Presbyterian Church.
It is my feeling that you have entered a significant discussion that needs to be confronted by our government. Our elderly cannot be “throw away” or have to struggle with assisted suicide. There has to be an answer!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friend forever Jerry…
Challenging memories and also looking ahead.
Ghost Ranch remained on the Preby. brag list yrs. after actual funding ceased….no doubt true for others.
I know one elder I would throw far away….endless cheeseburgers for him please.
The care, as best I have witnesses for elders in care facilities is at best hit and miss.
Keeping staff levels a economic and labor challenge. Training ranks down the list.
Good points all, and keep making them please. RB
At 39 years of age I discovered a significant heart condition that I gratefully say was corrected by a medical procedure. But in the months leading up to the treatment I depended heavily on my wife and others. Now, at 64, I find myself occasionally faced with temporary setbacks forcing me back into depending on my wife and others. Each experience has opened me to opportunities to care for others who face seasons of dependency.
In a world where large systems work to divide our communities, we need neighbors like Cameron McRostie and Maureen to keep our humanity flourishing. May we all let go of pride to receive help and choose to invest in care for our neighbors. Thank you Roy for inviting us to think deeply about these truths.
Tis Monday morning and I am just reading your tender and meaningful Comment.
You and family have walked a challenging path to wellness.
and, you have taken us with you.
& thank you, and Maureen, for doing and being so,,,,,humbled and honored.RB