Roy’s Sunday Letter for January 5, 2025
Thoughts on Mentors and Mentoring
Most of us, whatever age, gender, and background, have become who we are through family, education, and life experiences. In addition, many of us have received guidance and support from one or more mentors. And now, perhaps from our own experiences and elderhood, we can provide the “pay it forward” by the mentoring of others.
Two realities, I have learned from my service as a mentor: 1) Mentoring is not about fixing someone, their family, workplace, or faith community. 2) A Mentor helps empower someone to know they are not alone, or that the next generation will not be doomed to failure through our silence.
Hollie was the main guy at the BSU (Baptist Student Union on campus). Maybe he was the Director, maybe just Hollie. He was married with a young child and finishing his Master of Divinity at Southwestern Seminary. My fading memory is that I stumbled into the BSU in the fall of my Texas Wesleyan Sophomore year.
My generation was separating from our parents. This was 1963, not the1950’s. Hollie and the BSU became my safe place between classes as my rapidly changing world was unfolding through lectures, books and the evening news. Methodist and Catholic students had their own MSU and CSU.
Hollie got all that, he got us, he got me. We worked out our God stuff on the ping pong table, weekly bible study, and attempted to make sense of a world I/we did not understand. The sofas and chairs and cracked tiles, with no kitchen at the BSU became home.
Mentors come to us in both expected and unexpected ways. Perhaps “under someone’s wing” of the first job or the chef whose kitchen provides meals to the homeless and families being left behind in our fast-moving world. I have worked in a medical trauma center, street-based community centers, grief and loss recovery and domestic abuse all with staff, board members, and volunteers. The requests for mentoring, as I have known, have been about business planning, parenting, workplace stress, job change, possible relocation, health and aging, and grief loss and recovery.
In Santa Fe, Mike, Marcia, and Roger taught me “the art of giving back.” In addition to individual mentoring, board and staff retreats we provided mentoring opportunities in a group and community environment. We learned how to trust and do all this together, making both right and wrong decisions, learning from both and all.
So, who provided mentoring for you? Who have you provided you guidance from your skills and experience? Mentoring is about building resilience through change, securing a more secured future for the next generation, for someone to know they are not alone.
Roy, gratitude for the wisdom and insight of Hollie, Mike, Marcia, Roger and Ted.
Roy, inspired by the wisdom of Hollie, Mike, Marcia, Roger, and Ted
(next week’s Sunday Letter topic will a reflection on money)
I truly think everyone we come in contact with is a mentor in some way. Certainly, some individuals make more of an impact; family, teachers, ministers and friends; but every encounter leaves its mark. I think it is imperative that we be the best we can be because someone is watching and modeling.
Maurine, you dedication to others through UCC is your gracious way of linking mentoring and action.
No doubt you have been watched and heard by so many others as you give and model servanthood in the best and consistent ways.
Well done…..& gratitude your way. Roy
Nuturing oneanother and in the process of receiving the nuturing ourselves is an important process of learning and healing the spirits within our community of spirits. Studies seem to show that healing of the body and our soul are intertwined with better physical as well as better mental health.
Thoughtful and well worded Peter…..agree in all ways.
Tis great to see and read your Comments of health, wellness, and sustaining.
Roy, I believe you have always sought to be a mentor. I have seen you work as the only male in more than one organization as the lone administrator! This has not always been easy for you and never one time did you come home with disparaging remarks about an employee. You always tried to promote and support your staff even if they seemed to think otherwise! To me those are the true marks of a mentor.
I am grateful to The Santa Fe Community Foundation for giving you the arena for “The Learning Circle.” In that volunteer role, you helped bring together nonprofit leaders to share common ground, sitting in a circle giving each leader equal footing! Magical connections and conversations evolved because of your ability to be a mentor! To my surprise, you ended each time by asking as many as 35 people to hold hands and one more than one occasion you would remind them they were not alone. Thank you for the heart that drives you to be you!
Great story today on how it all began for you…in the community of a mentor! I am sure Hollie is smiling!🙏🏼
Is there anything better, joyful than this Reply from your life partner, spouse, friend???
I chose organizations to be my home, workplace.
I learned from and with others, and especially from Beth, always the better of the two,
And now, today, we continue……Roy
So, you asked who was a mentor for you? In the first instance it was my Dad. Although often deployed throughout my formative years, he taught me humility, discipline and kindness. Something considering this from a 38 year naval career as a commissioned officer who saw combat in 3 wars. He prepared me for my 4 years in the navy as a result of his unique leadership style; now called these days a “leading from behind”. Two others played significant roles in my development as well: Doc Smith and Captain Mac; two men I spent 13 months with along with 7 others in Antarctica operating a scientific research station in 1970. These two gentlemen provided two more ingredients to the list from above: structure and organization. They remain friends to this day!
And these 3 stay with you. land or sea.
Your dad is an alive “alongside” partner, no doubt still whispering wisdom to you.
You both take we passengers with you with food, walks, and home pies.
Whatever will be we are on the path together…..and that is good. RB
Roy, thanks much for a great letter and important topic. Paying back and forward are key in so many areas.. holds true for mentoring. I attended Austin College in Sherman, Texas. We were assigned a mentor at the beginning of our freshman year. Typically a faculty member. This person was by our side and in our corner our entire college career. The importance of this position cannot be overstated. To Maurine’s point, we often provide mentoring and have no idea we are doing so. Mentors and those we mentor pass in and out of our lives. Roy, over these past few years you’ve created, and now inhabit, a mentor spot in my life. I am grateful. Thank you.
There is a grounding of mutual respect and path.
And now, what to do with all that?
For me, not sure.
I usually find out by running into walls, bouncing off, keep going
What I do know is I am not alone.
Beth and I have been life partners, figuring it out as we journey.
I share who I am, listen, pivot as necessary.
And then, continue on…….as you 2 do a d be also.
Roy
roy
Thanks Roy! our mentoring was mutual! I learned so much from you and from our experience as a team. It reminded me again of the power of a team and how1+1+1+1 is vastly more than four. I am honored to be a 1!
Happy New Year!
Friend Roger….I have the word Sangha through meditation group.
The sense of team, of village, of community somehow within me as I “pitched” Circle Of Chairs and Learning Circle to SFCF.
I first experienced Sangha in early 1970’s at annual retreat of campus ministers in N. Carolina.
I did not know I invested my life in an attempt to recapture the magic of that tiome and event….and still do so today.
RB
YOU, my dear and resilient YOU have been one of my most significant mentors. Not only at the Santa Fe Community Foundation’s Executive Director’s Leadership Circle, but also, in the one on one meetings we have had to help open doors for my leadership to develop. YOU, who wrote to me, snail mail when my heart was broken in two or perhaps more accurately, in a million pieces. YOU who places a hand on a paper and traced it and wrote a meaningful note on each finger. YOU who introduced me to Beth, who literally saved my emotional and spiritual life, when I could not see that there was a tomorrow. TO YOU. I give thanks, unending gratitude and friendship and love. And to BETH as well. Love you to the moon and back. Linda M
My hello to Beth in May 1977 the best hello of my life, then, now, forever.
I have made some “think this will be good” launch’s over time.
Learning Circle being one of my better good, lucky ones.
This Sunday I will be writing about parts of all t5his and more…..stay tunee.
WE do good together……Roy