Roy’s Sunday Letter for January 26, 2025

Friends and friendship join Joy, Kindness, and Peaceful Living on life’s wheel. As I talk with and meet people or on a social platform, I listen to the challenges of making new friends, going deeper with a current friendship, or losing friends through aging, health, or relocation.

There is a touch of spirits unique to the friend connection. And yes, many of may feel that same touch with our pets. What makes a friend connection special is the sharing of a disappointment in a relationship, the excitement of a new job, being present in an elder’s search for words well known but now somehow gone. For me, friendship is the full bucket of the expected and the surprises, not having to fix or even agree. We allow each emotional and spiritual space as we live our lives.

There are reasons why we are hesitant about the hello of a new friendship. Perhaps fears of risking from our experiences during Covid, hurt or harm of a prior relationship, or being unsure of differences of the unknown of a new person, new stories. For these reasons, and more, we see the limits not the opportunities of a friend or friendship.

Daniel Whyte, poet, reminds us friendship means paying attention, creating imaginative connections, acknowledging and be thankful for a life other than our own. Philosophers and physicians remind us to give our time with persons, new or continuing, who add to our safety, being heard, and being cared for and loved.

Beth and I still have friendships with college roommates. In the same way, Tim and I sought out breakfast places in Santa Fe, Tom and I now do the same with lunch in Ft. Worth. I meet individually with four men every four or five weeks. Beth connects to three long-term friends through scheduled cell calls. Over time, as with each of us, our friends and friendships have spread from coast to coast. Social platforms, texting, and email allow us to be connected in real time, real ways. My friendships date from a 1960’s golf team to Bob and my campus ministry work in the 1970’s, to 2017 Santa Fe board member training with Mike, Marcia, and Roger, and now our Ft. Worth neighbors Jennifer and Jen.

Friendships do happen naturally. It is also true friendships take work and attention. My best to all in the nurturing of friends both new and over those begun long ago.

Roy, a believer in friends and friendships

19 Comments

  1. Linda Milanesi on January 26, 2025 at 8:07 am

    AHO. Another believer. Grateful for yours and Beth’s. X/O LM

    • Roy bowen on January 26, 2025 at 8:16 am

      Friends of 4 and 2 legs…..we do so together

  2. Jerry Wood on January 26, 2025 at 8:30 am

    Amen Roy. Going back to our GGCC days when I was 14. Staying connected with Hill, Dark, Burklow, you, etc. is quite important during our advanced years.

    Thx for the reminder and God Blesd

    • Roy Bowen on January 26, 2025 at 8:41 am

      Thankful for your Comments od wekness and health over the yrs. Connections are our threads of life….important.

  3. Debbie Gardner on January 26, 2025 at 9:11 am

    Friendships are more and more important as we age. Some we have had for decades even when far apart. Others need a bit more nurturing but are important. Love you both. Proud to have you as my friends. Love you.

    • Roy Bowen on January 26, 2025 at 10:18 am

      & perhaps with age we slow down to really see, feel, and know.
      Our 4-legged partners have taught and trained us well…..

  4. Maurine on January 26, 2025 at 9:25 am

    I love this week’s writing! Friendships are so important and they are like any relationship they take effort: but the rewards are greater than the effort. So very grateful for years of friendship that have weathered some tough times and come out on the other side; such a blessing.

    • Roy Bowen on January 26, 2025 at 10:16 am

      & the other side is like clouds after a storm, letting the light and the warmth shine…..and shine on we 3 do.

  5. Susan De Mars on January 26, 2025 at 9:27 am

    Friendships are great treasures!
    I love the way we all can laugh in new places because of being together and discover adventures together without going anywhere. Heal together without going to a doctor and find solace in just being heard & being present. 🎁

    • Roy Bowen on January 26, 2025 at 10:14 am

      Magical words from a magical, but not best driver, true friend.
      Your view of friendship is like reading a book and turning the page to a part of the ongoing story.
      Luv you in our world…..

  6. mike davis on January 26, 2025 at 10:29 am

    Wonderful letter Roy.. Friendship.. so very important and very true, requiring hard work and devotion to maintain. I belong to a small, non-affiliated fraternity from my days at Austin College.. attended my first fraternity retreat in 1979.. have not missed on since.. this year will be #47.. we are all older, hopefully wiser.. we have shared each others lives all these years.. we’ve lost a few to cancer since 2019, and few are battling cancer today.. it has brought great comfort to know my brothers are in my corner always..
    ” Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought or sold, but its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold.” M. ALI….

    Thanks for writing Roy and sharing your thoughts and perspective on this important and special topic.. Happy Sunday to all..

    • Roy Bowen on January 26, 2025 at 10:48 am

      Well and fully said,
      I can only add the goodness of you hanging with me and your Austin peers. This is how we maintain.

      • Peter D. Kleven on January 26, 2025 at 2:56 pm

        Roy, I treasure the friendship with both you and Beth. Thank you for the many years of sharing this journey.

        • Roy Bowen on January 27, 2025 at 9:12 am

          Of all the paths before the path of grief the hardest….we travel this crumbly, rocky path with you.

        • Roy Bowen on January 27, 2025 at 9:16 am

          Peter, I was replying to Frank on grief….missed a line,but grief is with al of us, long ago or now……RB

  7. FRANK H JOHNSON on January 26, 2025 at 3:10 pm

    Roy, that was a “hole in one” article. You beautifully captured the wide range of emotions, and risks involved in all relationships. They are what they are, and it is nice to have two good friends in you and Beth, who accept those ups and downs, lefts and rights, and all places in between. Life just is! No judgements, just trying to love our way through it.

    • Roy Bowen on January 27, 2025 at 9:18 am

      I bring the paragraphs I could write to saying in a clear voice, we travel the path together, we reach out and touch each other, we care.

  8. Roger Gullickson on January 27, 2025 at 6:28 pm

    Perfect topic for the moment. We have so much turbulence in the world it makes me treasure the calm waters of friendship even more. Thanks for being a friend!

    • Roy Bowen on January 28, 2025 at 2:39 pm

      I “lean into” these friendships daily.
      We do not travel our rocky path alone, whether near or far.
      Writing Sunday about being a senior, an elder 2025……tune in as best.
      RB

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