Roy’s Sunday Letter for August 9, 2026
An Open Sharing By A Medically Private Person
Friday, August 7th, was an important day medically for us. Beth and I listened as Dr. Dean, Texas Oncology, ruled out immediate concerns of Leukemia. He prescribed a new medication to lower my blood platelet count to be within normal range, preventing strokes and I will be monitored for changes.
Two weeks earlier we met Dr. Dean to provide my medical history and order tests. He explained medical issues I needed to consider based upon the test outcomes and then we waited. The individual and couple stress for Beth and I was the waiting for unknown outcomes that may change me individually and us as a couple.
My thoughts centered on our friends with medical issues far greater than my own. Friends who are regaining strength from heart and cancer surgeries, increasing the caregiver role for a spouse or family member diagnosed with the progression of Alzheimer’s, or the decline of health and independent living capacity of a parent or peer, whether near or far.
I am mindful of how over-whelming, even fearful, a medical lobby may be for many, including me. At Texas Oncology, I paid attention to moms with young children, those in wheelchairs or using a walker. I especially paid attention to patients of age without a listening witness, as medical terms and updated treatment plans are given in the time limited practice of today’s medical care. Even with Beth nearby, I felt the anxiety and discomfort of waiting for answers and information.
In what ways or settings are you or family members over-whelmed or fearful as I described in my waiting room experience? I applied mindful meditations for “good outcomes” prior to both our first and second medical visits with Dr. Dean. Is there an approach that works for you in stressful social, business, or medical environments?
Beth and I are concerned about and watch over the health and wellness of each other. We encourage each other to stretch, be intentional about the gym, and are not hesitant to recommend a better food choice. We go to most medical appointments together. We bear witness, ask questions, serve as record keeper. We trust each other with our future, even the unknowns ahead. This has been our way since May 1977. We know no other way.
Roy, with Beth in nearby waiting room chair
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Roy, I’m praying for you both at this anxious time. Thanks for sharing–most of us empathize with the hairy medical system that can easily overwhelm a person, especially when you don’t feel well.
Beth and another dear friend push me, encourage me to write 1dt person.
Not my comfort zone but attempting to give voice to 1sr person.
Giving voice to waiting seems to touch edges with others.
And you?? What we do we do together…..RB
Individuals that go through a medial crisis alone are so grateful you and Beth have each other. A second pair of ears and eyes brings a level of comfort, one I no longer have, As a patient alone sometimes you miss crucial information and at times you are so overwhelmed you don’t know what to ask. As we age medical issues are a part of life. Because Dr’s have to see so many patients their intential listening skills get jumbled. It is important to advocate for yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, ask about it again and again. As we navigate this season find some way to deal with the stress of the unknown and insist on the care you deserve. America is in crisis on many fronts but for me, healthcare is at the top of the list.
As we have entered the latter stage of life, it opens up many thoughts of what our future will bring. Fear of the unknown but anticipated. Connections are so important as humans and when connections start to disappear it becomes concerning and maybe even a bit harsh. My Aunt who died at 99 made the comment to me about a year before her death that everyone she grew up with were gone. What a thought to be the last of your group. Ok. A little morbid for this early but also loving in that as humans we want and need the social interaction of others. Thank you Beth and Roy for being a special part of that interaction. Keep on writing Roy! And glad the issues you have can be managed.
Yes to your giving voice to both the pain, the worry, and the hope and joy of our days……
rb
I was fortunate to be the mental health therapist for a regional cancer center for 10 years! Roy and I often talked about the fact that everyday many people heard and experienced the dreaded words, “You have cancer!” I was then and I continue today to be mindful of how a patient and family’s life changes with those three words. There are other words like “you have…dementia, Alzheimer’s, HIV, a child with a learning disability and the list goes on and on.” My grandmother taught me that you never know the burden that others carry. In today’s world, it seems that it is even more important to be mindful of the burdens of others as well as our own.
This summer has given us a glimpse into the unknown for ourselves and many of our dear friends. The unknown of what three words await each of us is uncertain. What I do know is that Meditation, Prayer and faith in God has taught me that everything is impermanent the beautiful as well as the physical and mental anguish of life!
We all continue on our journey and with grateful hearts we are thankful for the love of friends and family.
Blessings to both you and Roy as you are aging (in place). Today’s writing reminds me of one of my favorite sayings: “Every family has a history”, and we only know this when we ask. Challenges often come with anxiety and fear but often, these are developed in our own minds. Continued good health to both of you!
Beth and friend Peter continue to encourage me to write in 1st person, not my more comfortable 3rd person.
Today is an example.
Yes, aging is placing me in environments and feelings new for me.
Doing my best to represent the real time of waiting.
Good wording by you…..RB
My breast cancer journey was an absolute roller coaster ride with multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and a slew of other symptoms requiring ER visits and one blood transfusion. It is the best thing to happen to me spiritually. I was given the gift of recognizing how precious and short life is. All we have is the present moment we inhabit- the past is gone and the future hasn’t been written yet. I learned to experience life one day, one moment, one treatment at a time. I was a registered nurse for 33 years but my forte was surgery center nursing not oncology. It is a very humbling experience to not “know it all”. I have been blessed with talking with and sharing about my cancer experience! I applaud Roy’s dedication to healing and being so aware of the world around him!! At the end of the day, it’s really all we actually have! Praying for all those dealing with any and all tough times! ♥️
Friend Michelle….
Doing and being my best to be open and true to life unfolding around me, us.
Touching edges with others, their pain, and their joy.
You are indeed good people…….RB
I remember always the miracle that the body holds. From one cell every known science is prepared and emerges when a child is born. If the body can do that, then I believe it can heal anything if our belief and approach is in line with our soul’s path and our birth destiny. What good news you have shared with us. I am thankful to be a witness. Love you both so much.
Friend Linda….
The miracle of our bodies is indeed indeed magical.
My days of medication before both MD appts I believe helpful to both spirit and body.
Thanks for hanging with me, as I do with you.
Together we continue,,,,,RB
Prayers for a healthy Roy Bowen and Beth Kean. Friday, August 7th, was my 80th birthday and I presented myself with hearing aids. I’m trying them out for a week, I really don’t need them, but I can hear better with them. Go figure. Terri encouraged them when she caught me agreeing to things she said when she knew I really didn’t hear what she said. She said, “That could get you in a lot of trouble!”
One more step into the shadow of living with and through limitations for a better you.
Listening and hearing clearly so important.
So, good for you for the try out……RB
Sure beats enjoying driving down the highway with the air-conditioner on listening to an Albinoni adajio then loud noise, confusion and darkness. No loose ends tied up, no sorries, thank yous, love yous or remember your hair appointment next week. Just the celestial choir warming up.
good words from a good person
monday am thoughts for you to be surrounded by wellness and health//////RB